We Have Words And I Kill Him'
by Dreamer012
Summary: Remember in season 6 when Phoebe predicts the Friends' futures to Joey? What if they came true...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters and most of the plot was thought up in the sixth season (end of 'The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel'). Still, I hope you like it!

Phoebe was waiting for Ross, her hand deep in the pocket of her overcoat. She had used to wear clothes tighter than her skin but three marriages and countless miscarriages had left her body worn and marked and saggy. She covered up now and was not sorry when, as Ross walked in he looked her up and down with a gaze so full of loathing that she wanted to shove her head under her coat as well.

'I heard you married Joey,' he breathed, his lip curling up at the last word.

'As if I had a choice,' Phoebe muttered, her eyes fixed firmly on the floor. 'I promised myself to him. Joey Tribbiani is a violent man if he doesn't get his own way.'

'_Joey?' _Ross scoffed.

Angrily, Phoebe yanked away her collar so he could see the trail of bite-marks like a necklace under her chin. 'What do you think these are? Self-inflicted?'

'I wouldn't put it past you,' Ross spat. 'You were always attention-seeking.'

At that Phoebe's head jerked and for the first time she looked straight at him. 'I suppose that's why you fell in love with me?'

Caught off guard, Ross faltered. 'I – I didn't.'

'Then why are you here? Joey will be home soon and you know as well I do that he is not one to be crossed. Not since he discovered alcohol.'

'I thought Rachel was the one –'

'He fabricated that to gain custody of the children. Turns out he's a much better actor when under pressure. He made her fetch the beer bottles for him, wore gloves as he drank and then shoved them under their bed and showed them to the police when he called saying that he feared for his children.'

'And how did you get rid of Chandler?'

Phoebe's breath caught. 'You don't know?'

'I've been away, as you know.'

It was true. Ross had left when she'd married his best friend. It hurt him too much too see the woman he loved in the arms of a man he loved more. And Phoebe reciprocated that love a hundred times over. But she needed the money and Ross had next to none. As with Joey, she'd simply had no choice.

But it still shocked her that Ross didn't know. 'Ross…Chandler died.'

Ross staggered back, nearly falling. Phoebe started up and reached for his arm but he pushed her sharply away. 'You – you killed him!'

'Ross, I –'

'You took his money, you took his health and you killed him you…you _bitch!'_

His words hurt Phoebe more than as if he'd taken a knife and stabbed her in the heart. And it hurt much more than when he started to hit her. She was used to it by now. Chandler had been a sweetheart but Joey had always had it in his head that Phoebe was _his _and he made that clear by the bruises he left on her body every time they met and inevitably slept together.

Chandler had caught them together and had a heart-attack. Monica had come to his funeral with one of the three toyboys she'd adopted after she'd divorced him and taken her share of the cash they'd earned through investment. They were all old now. Much too old for this game.

Phoebe would never know what became of her when she rose up. Crushed and suffocated ever since she'd walked down that stupid aisle with Chandler Bing she couldn't take it anymore.

That must have been what she was thinking when she slammed Ross's head against the wall.


	2. Platonic But Powerful

Joey and Phoebe were unsure of what to do with themselves since their four best friends had left for their respective lives. The two of them met every day at Central Perk but with just two of them, despite being the best of friends, some of the spark had gone out of it.

Then Joey packed up and moved to LA for his acting career. He came to Phoebe's apartment the night before and they ordered Chinese food and some straight-to-DVD TV shows of Mac & C.H.E.E.S.E. Then he kissed her goodbye.

Phoebe suddenly clung to him, unable to let this last piece of her past go. Who did she have without her friends? Yes, she loved her brother Frank and the kids she'd carried but she never felt truly comfortable around their family. She knew his wife Alice thought of her as a rival for the children's affection and one day when Phoebe mentioned in passing that she'd birthed them Alice had taken her aside and told her quite firmly that they had no plans to tell them of their birth right for the foreseeable future.

Joey kissed her back and they stayed like that for a while, bonded. But they'd been here before. Love each other as they did there was no lust there. It was like…well, like kissing her best friend.

So she broke away. 'Don't forget me when you're famous, show-stopper.'

He grinned his lopsided grin. 'I'll send for you. We'll get married and live in a palace. And everyone will bow and scrape to you and do whatever you say.'

'That does sound perfect,' Phoebe admitted. 'I'm gonna hold you to that.'

'I know.'

They looked into each other's eyes and Phoebe's heart tripped up a little. Damn but she was going to miss him.

'Get out of here,' she smiled, blinking back tears. 'You're gonna miss your flight.'

His serious expression slipped into terror as he glanced at the clock. 'Holy crap you're right! Bye Phoebe, remember to call the zoo and check up on the chick and the duck!'

Phoebe smiled fondly after him as he ran out. No-one had had the heart to tell him that Monica had choked the chicken, stuffed it in a pot and cooked it up for Thanksgiving. As for the duck, they had slipped him into the pond in Central Park one day. God knew where he was now.

Phoebe settled back onto the sofa, hands over her stomach. Nearly thirty-three and she was already getting middle-age spread. Gym tomorrow. Definitely. There were some cute guys down there, one of whom had most certainly been eying her up in the café. Phoebe tossed her head with pleasure at the thought. As long as there were guys to snare and customers to massage and, of course, chocolate ice-cream, she was going to be alright.

Joey was missing Phoebe unbearably before he set foot on his flight. She was the only person who could put up with him and his idiocy; how the Hell was he going to survive without her?

'Oh my God it's Dr. Drake Ramoray!'

Automatically, Joey flashed his charming smile at the attractive girl in the other queue. 'He sure is, and he wants to know how you're doing.'

She squealed – but after the initial adrenaline rush that comes from seeing a minor character on your favourite show her interest waned and she turned back to her friends. Joey was left standing there stupidly, smile frozen on his recently fake-tanned face.

'Hey buddy, the queue's moving.'

He jumped and was moving even before he looked back and apologised.

Joey sometimes felt like he didn't fit in the world. He was always a beat behind everyone else, even his best friend Chandler, who with an IQ of 102 seemed to Joey to be supernaturally intelligent.

Phoebe was the only exception. If she'd wanted to she could have steamed ahead at 60 miles an hour…but she always gave him time to catch up, the rare times they snatched one-on-one conversations. Their relationship was pure and platonic – but his heart still ached as he the farther he flew away from his Phoebe.

'Something to drink, sir?'

So suddenly had he been jerked from his reverie that he was rendered utterly insensible and after a few minutes of mindless stuttering as he tried to ask for his favourite beer, the sweet-faced blonde girl smiled beatifically and said 'I'll just come back to you.'

Joey waited. He waited all the way through the five hour flight. Another stewardess tossed a sandwich on his lap halfway through, but the sweet-faced blonde one never came back.


End file.
